S.P.A.M. Theater, Vol. I

In today’s edition of Boing Boing tv, dramatic readings of real-life unsolicited emails. Part one, HOWITZER CANNONPANTS, a spiritual and pharmaceutical parable that ends not with ressurection, but erection. Part two, THANKS, MAURICE, one of dozens of emails received by Boing Boing editors from a disturbed man in Canada who sought cash, justice, and an end to “Mind Controlled Hatred.” Credits for Creative Commons-licensed video and photos used in this ep, after the jump.


Video from archive.org remixed in this episode included
JESUS VS.MOSES, Directed by: Erik David Clapp, Brian Luke Chii, Shawn Kelly.

Stills, from flickr and archive.org:

(HOWITZER CANNONPANTS)
ashcroft54: Niland_Salvation-35; danellesheree: birdhouse; geishaboy500: Hot Girl Remix; geishaboy500: Princess Bed; justin_benedick: 66050img005123948lorl4; Leap Kye: Hotwheels – Sling Shot; njvack: Cheap nasty power drill; paulkist: Lost Composure.

(THANKS, MAURICE)
RobW-: Just because you’re paranoid.jpg; 0ne: i have no arms and my boobs go all the way around my body!!!.jpg; absolutwade: maxi fan.jpg; Andrew Mason: paranoid polaroid.jpg; apurdam (Andrew): The Bra Fence.jpg; Big Blue Ocean: CC Bear copying his butt.jpg; blah blah black sheep: mod mind control.jpg; bolandrotor: hut nut.jpg; BWConspiracy1; confusedvision: prisoner…in a fake world.jpg; Daoist56: resume-paper 3.jpg; David Wilmot: Desert Hut.jpg; djwudi: Devil Girl, Norwescon 29, Seattle, WA.jpg; Dunechaser: Soviet Revolutionaries.jpg; Esther_G: [im]pulse [control disorder].jpg; freddy: Atlantic coast bike path.jpg; Grant Mitchell: A Deserted hut on an island.jpg; heyjoewhereyougoinwitht hatguninyourhand: Infared mind control.jpg; hungry_i: people mobilized in support of juche or something.jpg; James: Good Swamp TV..jpg; Lampeduza: Im Proud of Me!!!!!!.jpg
law_keven: Resistance is futile….jpg; Master Scorpion: Succubus.jpg; Neilwill: Hypnotist cat.jpg; peevee@ds: shelter.jpg; simnukeekc; smith: Vancouver Public Library.jpg; stacya: October 24.jpg;
susurrus_sparks: The Soft Underbelly of Oscar.jpg; swisscan: Xerox Tower Toronto.jpg; takuya: miyamoto life.jpg; Thomas Hawk: The Signal’s Lost.jpg; thorinside: A Life.jpg; Unhindered by Talent: You must protect yourself from those evil marketing rays.jpg; Vladimir: I U L Mind Control.jpg; wvs: flag and reflection.jpg; xdjio: Wasteland.jpg; Tinfoil by User: Teaeff.

About Xeni Jardin

Boing Boing editor/partner and tech culture journalist Xeni Jardin hosts and produces Boing Boing's in-flight TV channel on Virgin America airlines (#10 on the dial), and writes about living with breast cancer. Diagnosed in 2011. @xeni on Twitter. email: xeni@boingboing.net.
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11 Responses to S.P.A.M. Theater, Vol. I

  1. Xeni Jardin says:

    @anonymous #3, i thought the verizon ad was really well done and funny, actually. I LOLled, and that’s saying something, because i have to look at the ad every time i view a published episode, which is, like, a lot.

    Plus, and this is not shilling, but — have you tried the thing they’re promoting, FIOS? A couple of the guys in the studio where we produce BBtv have this at home (it’s not available where I live), and it’s — well, it’s AWESOME. Super super fast broadband. If Bay was hawking some retarded product, I’d give you a few points, but he’s engaging in self-deprecating humor for a killer service that does what it says it does, so I’m happy to see this sponsorship run on BBtv.

    Call me when you see us run Halliburton spots featuring Dick Cheney, then we’ll talk.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Hey anti-techno man I live in Canada am currently under employed and my life sicks also.

  3. MarignyMohican says:

    THANKS, MAURICE is vastly similar to emails i get at work from a woman in Brooklyn concerned with documenting the actions of the Mormon CIA operatives in her neighborhood.

  4. boringrick says:

    I thought the Verizon commercial was great.

  5. Christopher Bowns says:

    Heather Champ’s photo is both No Derivative (can’t modify it) and Non-Commercial: http://hchamp.com/2008/03/05/chieka-on-boing-boing-tv/

    You guys should know better.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Verizon sponsorship? With Michael Bay?

    Please tell me this is part of the joke…

  7. Chocolatey Shatner says:

    I guess I should change my name to “Dinky Peashooter” :(

    Also, “Smelly Persons with an Agenda for Meanness” BEST ACRONYM EVAR!!!

  8. dantiger says:

    Gee, said Hee. Sunday night always hated due to end of weekend chaos and return to school or work chaos. 6:55PM PDT and watched first video on Boing? Sort of screwy yet the guys voice was pleasing and I believe he may have said something eye opening. So now I shall join Andy Rooney and the other loonies at 60 Minutes. Don’t you hate it when that happens?

  9. License Farm says:

    By far my favorite BBtv in quite some time. I’m not even sure these should be regarded as spam; the aggravated sense of self-importance from both make it perfectly logical that they should send these manifestos to everyone on earth, or at least the most visible blog on the net.

    When I used to work in NYC’s biggest comic shop there was a fellow who’d come in regularly, almost always on a Saturday, and drop off manilla envelopes filled with mimeographed manifestos about mind control and Xeroxed comic pages supposedly illustrating where pentagrams had been smuggled into the art…

    …except what in the hell he was referencing was invisible to everyone else. It would be so easy to dismiss him as a schizophrenic, but maybe it was just fnorded to the rest of us, and we needed the glasses from They Live to see it.

  10. noen says:

    Howitzer Cannonpants, what a great band name.

  11. Stefan Jones says:

    Wow, great stuff! Especially part II.

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