Mole Men imagined by Ape Lad / Mole Crunk
In our last episode, John Hodgman gave us a sneak peek at his next book in progress, which includes mysteries of mole men. What do they look like? We don't know, the book's not finished. But Hodgman did share some of their names with us.
Florida-based artist Adam "Ape Lad" Koford drew some of the 700 hobo names recounted in Hodgman's last book, so we asked him to imagine the mole-men for today's BBtv episode.
Next, kick back with some earthworms and Stoli, and dig the smooth underground sounds of DJ Mole-licious. This "mole crunk" track was written and rapped by BBtv segment producer Russ Gooberman, with music by BBtv associate editor Laura Lopez. What set you from, homie? 6.02 x 10^23. Lyrics and MP3 after the jump.
- - - - - - - - -
DJ MOLE-LICIOUS: MOLE RAP
Yo, I ain't no informant
I ain't on the face of De Niro
I ain't no chemistry constant called Avogadro
I'm just a mole.
In a hole.
About Moles…
Moles dive deep in the earth's underground
They don't use eyesight, they use smell and sound
Tapidae is the name of mole's mammal family
Darwin noted that their eyes were rudamentary
Moles eat invertebrates, aquatic insects
earthworms, molluscs, and snack on Rice Chex
Male moles are boars, females are sows
When moles escape from owls, moles take bows
They are Tribe Talpini, Genus Euroscaptor
The star-nosed mole has tentacled olfactory receptors (bitch!)
Predators include the Red-tailed Hawk
Moles don't look at you, so moles don't gawk.
Moley-Moley, burrowing slowly
Moley-Moley, gets underneath the goalie,
Moley-Moley, eat earthworms with Stoli
I'm just a mole
In a hole.
Yo, I got a whole mole army, yo
How many moles you got?
six point oh two times ten to the twenty third.
the latest
the latest
I like the music. It has nothing at all to do with crunk, but it's really nice. Having tracks like that in the background of future bbTV episodes would be superfantastic!
The 'rapping', on the other hand, should be buried and never see the light of day again.
I always thought this is what Mole People are:
http://snurl.com/1tv5x
(Jennifer Toth's 1995 book "Mole People" about the dwellers in New York city's underground tunnels. There is also a song about them here: http://snurl.com/1tv5y
Holy Avogadro Guacamole, Batman!
Great reference!
Fantastic drawings the Xeni one is super cool!
the animal wearing the hoodie is that a Basenji? cause that looks a hella lot like my dog i mean twin like.. just thought it was weird out of all the possible dogs
this is my dog http://darkandbright.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/basenji.jpg
i feel stupid this is unrelated
I thought I'd heard that the Toth molepeople book was largely unsubstantiated, exaggerated and/or fabricated. Hodgman, on the other hand, is unimpeachable.
The rap is painful, but I have a penchant for weird crap like that, so onto the hard drive it goes. I'm surprised the star-nosed mole didn't get a Cthulhu reference.
And it's such a joy to see someone as mad talented as Aplelad at work at his craft. I've long hoped that art might develop into a spectator sport. Oh, wait, I've just described Win, Lose or Draw.
Basenjis hate rain and yodel.
Moles eat Drake's Yodels and don't care about rain.
mole-crunk is crack-whack yo.